Take that world.

I'm going to make it through this week, whether it wants me to or not.

sha la la la :)

Why do I have to be such a girl. I'm ridiculously excited. It's retarded. This one particular boy that I haven't seen in a long long time just called me...for the second time this week! :) I get to see him on Wednesday. The End.
Ok, I lied it's not the end. I am SOOOOOOOOOOOO excited. He called me to "catch up," but really he just misses me. At least that's what I'd like to think. I'm going to kiss him. I don't care about this girl not kissing guy first thing. I've been waiting way to long to just sit around anymore. I'm just going to lay it on him.
Ok Kjersti, talk is cheap. I'll probably just chicken out again. (Why. Why.) But,...if all goes well we'll be "catching up" for real.
Speaking of catching up. My life. I can't catch up. I have too many to do lists that aren't getting done, but what do you do? Life goes on. Life is hard, but because it's hard I can recongnize all the amazing blessings I have. Such as my friends. Really, I told my mom the other day, "I have the best friends ever, I don't think I deserve them." I have a job. (Paychecks are good.) I go to college to make my brains smarter. I am a member of the only true chuch. I have a family at home. etc etc. Thanksgiving is next week so I'll write my thankful list next week. Anyway, life is good. I hope life is good for everyone.
The End. (for real)

I Think I'm Growing Up?

I can officially say I'm almost 20. That is because it's my half birthday. I like my half birthdays. It has gotten me thinking though; what have I done with the the first 19 and 1/2 years of my life. I've done some cool stuff, but I probably haven't been nearly as productive as I could have been. So here's my plan. I am going to live up my last 6 months of being a teenager!!! (Ah, and then I'll turn 20! That's scary.) It's too bad I'm over 18 because I can't do anything fun and illegal without getting in trouble. Really the only thing I can do as a 19 year old is buy some cigarettes. Maybe I'll do that. (Oh wait, I'm not stupid. Can I tell you how glad I am that I don't smoke. I won't go off on that tangent right now though.)
So quick (or maybe not so quick) update on my life. I've been working for 3 weeks now, but this week was the first week I worked three graveyards in a row. (Thurs, Fri, Sat) I slept like 7 hours in 4 days. I think I almost died. I do love my job though. I spend 8 hours a night wiping butts, cleaning barf and diarrhea, emptying catheters, getting coffee, opening the door so the residents can go smoke at all hours of the night, emptying garbages, and taking a 20 minute nap on my lunch break at 3 in the morning, and answering call lights every 2 freaking minutes. It's a wonder I get anything done at all. Here's my favorite story from Thursday night.
One of the aides was like "Have you ever put on a condom catheter?"
me: "um, no."
her:"ok, come help me then so you know how."
So we get into the room, and she was like "it's just like putting on a condom." (Inside my head I'm laughing really hard because I have most definitely never put a condom on anyone, or anything...she said it like it was common knowledge to sheltered Mormon girls who are very single, and never been married.) and then outloud I was trying to pretend like I knew what she was talking about. Then she was like "I don't know if you've ever put a condom on, but I wasn't a good little Mormon girl." I had no comment to that. Anyway, I don't know why I thought it was so funny at the time, and maybe it's not funny now, but I am now more knowledgable person I suppose.
I'll tell you what though, I'm going to be an awesome mom. I have a great stomach for nasty things. My kid is just going to pukin' and I can see myself just holding my hands for them, and what not. (or maybe that's just a mother's instinct thing.) And for your knowledge, whether you care or not I'd way rather clean up poop then pee. I hate the smell of urine more than anything. I always just gag. But I suck it up and do my job anyway. So if you ever have some poop that needs some cleaning, you know who to call.
Here's a picture of me just about to go to my first night of work. (Please excuse the psycho look on my face, I'm not sure what I was doing. I look slap happy.) My first paycheck was nice.

Enough of work. It's consuming my life already, and I've only worked there for 3 weeks.

School. Only 17 more days of class before finals week. That is very scary, and also very exciting. It's scary because my thousands of dollars of hard work went by too fast, and also I have too much to do before the end. Exciting because the end is in sight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wahoo! Yahoo! Yay! Yippee! etc etc

Random tidbits:

1.I think I try not to like boys because I don't like feeling vulnerable. They control my feelings. I don't like that.
2. I'm in love with Spiderman.
3. I think the world would be a lot better place if everyone got 8 hours a sleep every night.
4. I saw this cute little couple with a tiny baby girl, and then I wanted a baby, and I said bad Kjersti. That's a problem because I do not want to get married right now. I'll get over the baby thing.
5.I like to eat. I love food. It's like my boyfriend that I don't have. I'd rather die fat and happy than little and not happy. ( I will never be obese though, because if I end up in a nursing home, I don't want the poor aides like me breaking their backs trying to lift my fat rolls over on top of the bed to change me.
6. My eyeballs are burning like fire because I'm so tired. Good night.

What's the number for 911?

Once upon a time it was a beautiful November day. It was my friend Annie's 20th birthday. Opus, a choir at school, was asked to sing at a funeral out in Enoch. Before meeting to go to the funeral, a bunch of girls had gone out to lunch at the Pastry Pub (yum, yum) to celebrate Annie's becoming a woman. Then Annie, Geneil, and I packed up into Annie's car to drive to Enoch for this funeral.
There was some nice pointless construction going on on main street, and surprise, surprise people were following too close. We had just been joking with Annie saying it'd be funny if she got pulled over on her birthday. That would have been the nice alternative after we got slammed into from the back end. It was so nice of the white dodge truck to hit us so conveniently as we were already running late. Lucky for us I know the number for 911, and quickly filed a police report. (Quickly in police terms was an hour later). We most definitely missed the funeral.
Everyone was seatbelted, and ok. Except for the poor birthday cupcakes that flew rapidly towards the floor. The trunk doesn't open now, and there is no right tail light, but who needs a right blinker anyway? Well, Happy Birthday Annie! I hope getting your car rammed into will make it a memorable one! :)

Don't Worry, Be Happy

Today I prayed. I try to pray everyday, but today I prayed specifically to be happy. I'm sick of being unhappy, because I'm just a happy person. After I prayed I opened my scriptures to Mosiah 2. There were a lot of things that were really good in that chapter, but verse 17 stuck out to me. It said: "And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God."
I prayed again and asked for help to find people to serve today. I am happy now, because I was able to serve others, and I was not thinking about me and myself. The things I did weren't even big, but little things like listening to someone cry, or asking them how their day was. I gained a greater love for the people I did these little service things for.
I also just listened to the CES fireside that was broadcasted yesterday. It was amazing. Pres Uchtdorf said a lot of things that needed to be heard by me, and I'm sure by a lot of other people. I think everyone should listen to it. The church is true. I want to be a good person, and live by the commandments of God so I can return to him. I'm going to work harder to serve others, and be happy!

Slow Me Down

This song sung by Emmy Rossum pretty much explains my life. I feel like I'm running in too many directions and I can't stop. If you don't want to hearing whining I'd suggest not reading this post. First off, why is motivation such a hard thing to find? I'm struggling hardcore with finding any ounce of motivation to do anything. I don't want to practice, do homework, go to work, clean, or get out of bed. I want to sit on my butt and stare at the wall. All day. Every day. I'm pathetic. Basically I have a badittude (bad attitude) about everything. I'm trying hard to be positive about stuff, but sometimes I guess you just have to have a craptastic week. I know I'm not alone though because I've talked to a lot of my friends who are experiencing the exact same thing. I think it's the weather. It's cold. It snowed. It's almost the end of the semester. Stress is building like crazy. I'm homesick, and on the verge of tears most of the time. And no, it's not PMS, and I sure hope I'm not pregnant. It's weird being homesick because I've never experienced it before. Last year was all good and dandy because I was out doing my own thing, without my parents, but after being home for the summer and seeing how much my siblings changed while I was gone I'm having a hard time being away from them. I don't like how everytime I see my brother he's taller, or his voice is lower. My sisters get prettier, and more mature. I don't like it one bit. *breathing*
Ok, I think I'm done. For right now at least. Life really is good. I have great friends, and am surrounded by good people that I love. Church was really good today, and a lot of things were said that I needed to hear. I'm really trying to become spiritually a better person so I can better handle crappy weeks. I need to do better at reading my scriptures and praying, and I know after I put my effort into things everything will go better. I love the church, it's true.
The end.